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Speaking our childrens language: chat speak and internet acronyms

July 28, 2011 By 10 Comments

When reading over the shoulder of a young persons internet chatting or mobile phone texting, one could be forgiven for believing they had come across a whole new language. And, well, you wouldn’t be far from the truth. The rise in technology has meant an enormous change in the way our kids communicate. To keep up with the speed of the changing environment, it apears to have become necessary to speed up the communication processes and hence these new languages of ‘chat speak’ and internet acronyms has evolved.

What does this mean for parents?

Well if you are going to have any hope of keeping on top of the challenges that face our youth through the increased use of technology, then it is essential we find out all we can about the cyber world. In this case…yes knowledge is power!

So whilst I am happy to give my kids some privacy in many areas, when it comes to the cyber world, our kids are just not getting the message about just how powerful a medium it is, and hence a little snooping over the shoulder certainly wont go astray. But to do so with any purpose…one may need to be equipped with some of the latest acronyms to help them decipher this new language!

Some common acronyms you may already be familiar with: 

lol: laugh out loud

l8r: later

peeps: people

gf: girlfriend

bf: boyfriend [Read more...]

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Filed Under: Modern Parenting, Teenagers Tagged With: , , ,

11 Practical ways parents can help build self esteem

July 21, 2011 By 23 Comments

Self esteem is one of the most important aspects of our children’s development. Having a healthy and positive self esteem means our children feel good about themselves, have the courage to try new things, the confidence to do things independently, to stand up for what they believe in, to take pride in themselves, to set goals and to accept and give love. As discussed previously, we are generally pretty good at the positive reinforcement and praise elements of building a positive self esteem, and are doing this well, particularly in the early years of development (think how excited we get when they take their first steps…or the jubilation with which we respond to a first wee on the potty). But as our kids get older we need to ensure that this self esteem remains firmly in tact, and must therefore rely on many other forms of confidence building to ensure it is not just about their achievements and the subsequent praise, but rather a more well rounded approach that includes many other skills and coping strategies in order for our children to help face the many challenges that will lay ahead.  For praise alone will not sustain their skills, belief, integrity, assertiveness, acceptance, responsibility and sense of  purpose.

Below are some of the many ways we can encourage and develop our children’s positive self esteem that can certainly start from very early in life, but must be continued throughout the adolescent and teenage years. [Read more...]

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Filed Under: Discipline, Modern Parenting, Teenagers Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Why praise alone won’t build self esteem

July 14, 2011 By 7 Comments

Having a positive self esteem is one of the most important aspects of our child’s development.  Of all the judgements we pass in life, none is more important than the judgement we pass on ourselves. As parents we play a significant role in helping to nurture and develop this self esteem. We have been urged over and again to give praise, to reward and to cheer at every achievement. But have we got so good at the praising aspect of building self esteem that we are forgetting to develop some other very important life skills?

Don’t get me wrong,  I am all for positive reinforcement…but do we sometimes go a little overboard praising our child’s achievements?  There are certainly those times when a child putting on their socks and shoes or picking up their drink bottle off the floor is treated with the equivalent adulation to those making their way to the dais to receive an Olympic gold medal. [Read more...]

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Trusting our instinct and doing whats right for ourselves and our family

July 7, 2011 By 7 Comments

With constant access to a never ending stream of information, it has never been so easy to get caught up in a world ‘googling’ all of life’s answers. But how far should we go in trusting all that we read and hear at the expense of listening to ourselves, to our hearts, to our own bodies and to our instinct.

This week I had a timely reminder about the importance of relying on that ‘feeling’ that something wasn’t right.  On walking to the football with my dad, my brother and I were concerned about the breathlessness my dad was feeling. This wasn’t the first time and despite having been to the doctor the previous week, having had it investigated and having been told it could be a virus or maybe a touch of asthma he had been sent home. As I watched my dad throughout that football match, something wasn’t quite right. As our team was losing I was concerned that he may start getting frustrated and stressed. But he wasn’t. That was the biggest telltale sign. (Yes footy is pretty big in our household). When we returned home my brother insisted to my mum that he go to hospital. Whilst dads feeble attempts to convince us that the doctors had said he was fine were drowned out by our insistence, he was whisked away to emergency. On investigation he had an artery that was 90% blocked, requiring 2 stents. A lifesaving operation…and an incredible sigh of relief.

We are so lucky to have so much access to information and support networks via the advancements in technology, but we must remember that we also have access to the greatest source of information…ourselves.

As we parent in these modern times we are plied with so many instructions, so much advice, so many ‘how to’s’ and ‘how not to’s’ and we are privy to so many comparisons that it can often be a little overwhelming. We are told why our baby is crying and how to fix it, what they should be watching, and how they should be spending their every waking moment. This in turn can lead to feelings of guilt, inadequacy and even leaves us making decisions that don’t feel right or work well within the circumstances of our particular situation. When we have a new baby the amount of information is mind boggling and the number of products we simply must have to parent effectively, can be seen to be out of control. Some advice is helpful, timely, warranted and even essential. Some products are equally effective, helpful and do make life easier. And certainly the support that many parents gain from access to so much information has proven to provide wonderful resources and online communities and networks. But what is true, relevant, helpful or necessary for one person is not going to be so for every individual or family.

So lets not forget to take what we need from other sources but trust in ourselves to make the final judgement. When it comes to our children and ourselves we must remember to rely on doing what feels right, what works for us and what is a good fit for ourselves and our family.

Do you ever go against popular or expert opinion in order to make a decision based on gut feeling or instinct?

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Filed Under: Modern Parenting Tagged With: , , , , ,

How good are you at following through?

July 1, 2011 By 2 Comments

Whilst trying to tame the monster of effective parenting and discipline, we have all made a myriad of threats that for whatever reason we have been unable to follow through, despite knowing full well that the long term gains will outweigh the short term pain. This inability to follow through can often depend on the threat itself and the possible ramifications,  our mood at the time, where we are,  who we are with (and hence who is judging) and what the reaction of the child may be if we do or do not follow through with our threat.

We all know that boundaries and the adherence to them is one of the most important aspects and tools to good parenting. But how far have you gone to follow through on a threat when every other cell in your body wanted to give in and avoid the fracas, not to mention the inconsulate look of despair on their’ too cute to be punished’ face?  It is natural to want to recoil as we coolly but calmly explain that they can no longer have the promised treat due to their less than desirable behaviour. [Read more...]

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