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20 dinner table conversation starters: connecting with our kids

September 27, 2011 By 3 Comments

Last week we looked at ways to improve the communication between ourselves and our kids. We looked at some different strategies to hopefully avoid the one word answers that more often than not accompanied our daily inquisitions.  This week I decided to look at ways we can enhance that connection with some great dinner table conversation starters. Of course you can use these questions at any time, and may even get your kids to write down the answers and compare them a year later. But I think eating dinner as a family is such an important aspect of connecting with our kids, and whilst circumstance and commitments don’t always make it possible every night, it is something which should be aimed for whenever possible. And of course not everyone needs help with conversation, (many attesting to this from the previous posts’ comments), however below are some questions that may impart some interesting revelations, help build self esteem, ignite gratitude, lead to resolutions or compromises or just create a few laughs and happy memories.

1. Who is someone you look up to and why?

2. What do you worry about?

3. What is your most embarrassing moment? [Read more...]

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Filed Under: Communicating and Connecting, Modern Parenting Tagged With: , , , ,

Communicating with our kids: getting more than one word answers

September 21, 2011 By 15 Comments

How do you get more than one word answers from your kids? How do you get them to engage in a conversation rather than respond with a grunt, mumble or an “I dunno”

How do you continue to communicate with your children when the developmental advances, the changing brains and the influx of hormones renders the art of conversation somewhat distracted? Once again communicating with our kids when they are little is something we are more inclined to do well. We talk and interact constantly with our baby and toddler as we feed them, dress them, carry them, read to them and sing songs with them. But as they make their way through the primary school years and beyond and they gradually develop this independence, sometimes the communication needs to happen on a more conscious level.

Of course the ‘one word answer’ is not the case for all kids and certainly those parents that have been through “the grunting teen” have rejoiced in the return of their talkative kids once through this stage of development. But in the meantime, it is important to use whatever time you have to talk to your kids, to connect on a regular basis and to set up the foundations for a feeling of security for your kids, safe in the knowledge that there is always someone around to listen to the little things as well as the big things. [Read more...]

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Filed Under: Communicating and Connecting, Modern Parenting, Teenagers Tagged With: , , , ,

Effective Praise in Parenting

September 12, 2011 By 11 Comments

This weeks Cherishing the Cherubs project focuses on Praise.

Praise and positive reinforcement is a crucial element in providing our children with much that they need in order to approach life with a healthy optimism, self esteem and sense of pride.

In the past I have written about not relying on Praise alone to build positive self esteem, but rather it is one of the many tools we must use in order to raise happy and confident kids. I do however think there are some areas where we don’t always quite get it right.

In the early years we have no trouble heaping praise on our little cherubs as they learn to clap their hands, crawl, walk and kick a ball. It is the later years however, particularly the teenage years, where this praise often diminishes to a trickle. I recently read that teenagers, on average, hear one positive comment for every five negative ones. Not having reached that stage myself I am well aware that those said teenagers may sometimes make it difficult for one to heap on the praise.  But with all the weird stuff going on in the teenage brain, the influx of hormones and the physical changes to their bodies, it is important to remember that these are crucial years in their development and we need to ensure the praise we so readily bestow on them in the early years, continues throughout these  later ones. [Read more...]

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Filed Under: Communicating and Connecting, Discipline, Modern Parenting, Teenagers Tagged With: , , , ,

Rock and Play Sleeper

September 10, 2011 By 2 Comments

 Having given birth to my 5th son just a few weeks ago, I know a thing or two about soothing and settling babies, and so far, I know what has and hasn’t worked. For all of my babies, movement has been a key factor in getting them off to sleep. They are happiest when I am walking around with them over my shoulder, bumping along the pathway whilst riding in the pram and long  journeys in the car have always been a sure way to send them off into the land of nod. Maybe this stems back to my own childhood. Those who knew me as a baby, toddler and beyond, know that I was most relaxed and happy when lying on the floor rocking side to side and singing along to my favourite Abba records. But I digress. The point being that most babies love motion to get them to sleep and the gentle rocking motion of Fisher Prices’ new Rock n Play soother has provided just the answer for that ‘other’ option of being able to put the baby down so that your hands are left free for other tasks. (at present I am typing with my hands and using a foot to rock the baby to sleep).

When I was asked to do a Product Talk by Nuffnang  about the Fisher Price Rock n Play, I happily obliged as I knew this was something that my new baby and I could well use. Over my 11 plus years of parenting I have used many different gadgets and all manner of nursery paraphernalia, but I always find that the simple things are often the best. This is what I love about the Rock n play. There are no bells and whistles, no flashing lights, no annoying music or heavily accented cheesy songs…just a comfy, cosy rocker that so far has managed to put my little boy off to sleep every time.

Some of the other great features I love:

  • It rocks smoothly, not a ‘jolty’ movement like the traditional low to the ground rockers
    The fabric is easily removed and washable and the colors are understated and suitable for boys and girls
  •  It’s easy to assemble. I know this as my husband (not the handiest man going around) said so! And he was very   happy there were no tools involved.
  •  You can fold it up easily to store or transport
  •  Babies can lay on an angle, which is good for reflux or colicky babies
  •  It’s easy to rock with a foot or hand without having to bend down low
  • It’s suitable for up to 10kg so it can be used for most of the first year

But best of all….the baby loves it…….

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The Fathers Day Interview: another way to record and remember

September 5, 2011 By 14 Comments

This weeks link up with Seven Cherubs ‘Cherish the Cherubs task is to be based around the Interview. Interviewing family and friends is a great way to both record and remember the thoughts, feelings and beliefs of a person from a particular moment in time.

A couple of years ago my eldest son made up a series of questions and interviewed his brothers and us, his mum and dad. He also set up the video recorder to catch it all on film and so we are left with a great source of amusement and insight into our beliefs, our values and a wonderful appreciation for all that we cherished at the time.  (Not to mention how we look and sound!) 

This week I decided to do a Fathers Day interview and ask the kids (the ones that can answer properly) some questions about their dad. Obviously this is something you can do at any time and about any topic and something I hope to do more of in the future. 

Here is a snapshot of the interview. 

What makes your dad a great dad? 

11 yr old: He buys us stuff from Seven Eleven and he hangs out with us a lot [Read more...]

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Filed Under: Communicating and Connecting Tagged With: , , ,
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