An Internet Contract for families: teaching our kids to play safe

As our kids are beginning to interact online and use the internet at an increasingly younger age, it becomes imperative that we as parents manage this use by focusing primarily on their safety. In my house we have decided to have our children sign an internet contract to ensure that they are not only are prepared to follow some simple rules, but that they fully understand the possible dangers and pitfalls of using such a powerful medium. Our children whilst technically savvy, do not always have the maturity to match, and hence we need to be constantly educating them about the many aspects of repsonabile online use. Having a contract not only makes them accountable for what they are doing online, but it helps us bring up some of the issues they may not have previously considered. It is important that you all know that these points are fully understood before you sign away. Usually I would see something like contracts as too formal for my family, however in this instance I believe it a great tool in starting up the conversations and making our kids accountable. It is not so much about the punishments and the contract as such, but more about having our kids recognise the importance of being aware of these issues to ensure they are able to make appropriate and safe choices for their online interactions.

Please feel free to print out and use for your family :)

 

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My 3 top tips for preventing the toddler tantrum

What is the best way to control a toddler? How can I stop my child from throwing a tantrum? Why wont my child listen?

I think when I tell people what I do, more often than not it is these sorts of questions that parents fire away most desperately. In search of that magical answer that will return to their arms that precious bundle of compliance and chubby cuteness to replace the obstinate temper tantrum throwing little minx that they need to go and watch sleeping, just to remind themselves how much they really do love them.

The answers are not always easy, otherwise there would be no tantrums at the supermarket, or wails of “no” when told to go to bed or stubborn refusals to wear a jacket despite the arctic like temperatures. Each child is different, each family situation is unique  and the interactions and communication between parents and child is an intricate battle of emotions that sometimes means we are unable to remove ourselves from the situation and engage in any rational thought. But as I am in the middle of toddlerhood with my 4th son, I have managed to learn a thing or two about toddler behaviour and I stress that whilst nothing is full proof nor comes with any guarantees, I have come up with my 3 best tips to tame a toddler and get back to enjoying their charm. [Read more...]

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Technology, time limits and getting it right for our kids

Do your kids get angry when you ask them to get off the computer, turn off the xbox, give someone else a turn of the Wii or put the ipod away?

Last week I was guest posting over at Planning with Kids about 8 things parents should know about technology and parenting. Many of the comments pointed toward a frustration by parents over the amount of time kids were online and the trouble they had in enforcing rules regarding the use of technology. Or overuse more to the point!

Here are a few pointers to help you take back control and help ensure your kids have a greater chance of being able to regulate their own behavior and time management as they grow up surrounded by the distractions of technology.

Start early  From the moment your little one can swipe an ipad make sure they know there are limits to its use. We want to be able to take things away without a fight every time.  And whilst you will more than likely get one the first few times you interrupt their extremely important, almost at my highest score game, they will learn. Like all aspects of parenting, the earlier you start getting them used to the boundaries, the greater control you will both have over their behaviour. [Read more...]

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I dont care if you smack or breastfeed: What really makes for great parents

As parents it seems there are 2 things most of us are pretty good at, and that is feeling guilty and judging, both ourselves and others. As a parent blogger and family counsellor, there are some things I think we should all be concerned about and some things that we should leave up to the judgement of the individual and their families based on their own values and what it is they see as important to the running of their households.

So for me, these are examples of some of the things that we shouldn’t be so concerned about, the things that within reason the individual has the ability to decide without having to defend or justify: [Read more...]

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3 ways to get children to cooperate: cues to better behaviour

There is nothing more frustrating than a toddler or young child that put ups the same arguments, procrastinations, tantrums and refusals in order to avoid doing a certain task or behaving in a certain way. Often these should be relatively simple tasks that need to be done on a daily basis but at the first sign of gesticulation, they quickly escalate into World War 3, causing tempers, voices and stress levels to all rise in one sweaty, heart palpitating, ear piercing unison.

As I am firmly entrenched in the midst of guiding a 4th child through toddlerhood and not far off dealing with the same challenges for a 5th and final time, I have had to come up with a few strategies to ensure tasks are performed with minimal of fuss so that one can move on to all the other gazillion tasks that lie in wait. I have learnt that kids love routine. They love knowing what is coming next and they love being able to predict things. Whilst they will probably not admit it anytime soon, they also love boundaries and having these boundaries enforced. But kids also love the feeling that they are in control and that their decision-making plays a part in their daily tasks. [Read more...]

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