Assertiveness. Something we all need but something that doesn’t always come naturally. In my last post we looked at the importance of assertiveness, what it meant to be assertive and whether or not this was something we needed to work on for ourselves and our children.
Whilst we know that personality and the gene pool lottery can play a part in how easily or not one can assert themselves, we also know that assertiveness is a behaviour, and behaviours can be challenged and changed.
Below are some strategies to help you become more assertive, as well as those to help our children. As they begin to become more independent and venture out into the world beyond the family home, it is important that our children too are equipped with the skills to assert themselves.
When trying to assert ourselves, get our point across or have our needs met in a particular way, it is important to:
1.Be clear about what you want. Get straight to the point and refrain from long winded explanations. The more you talk in circles, the less weight your point of view will have and the more likely it is that you will be overwhelmed or intimidated.
2.Ask for more time. When somebody asks a favour of you and you are unsure how to respond, then don’t be afraid to ask for more time or for more information. Again it is far better to give yourself time to assess the situation to determine whether it is something that will work for you. To avoid saying “yes” when you may in fact need to say “No” you can instead respond to a request with something like “I am not sure yet, I need more time to work out what I am doing”. Remember when we say no to someone we are only rejecting their request, we are not rejecting the person. [Read more...]