You are here: Home / Archives for memories

This Mothers Day I will be thinking of….

May 10, 2013 By 18 Comments

This Mothers Day I will be thinking of my beautiful daughter who I only got to hold for 4 and a half months

This Mothers Day I will be thinking of my two Nannas no longer with me.

This Mothers Day I will be thinking of my family and friends who desperately wanted to be a mother but couldn’t

 This Mothers Day I will be thinking of every mother I have organised a Heartfelt session for this past year who  do not have their babies to hold

This Mothers Day I will be thinking of all those who are having their first Mothers Day without their mum

This Mothers Day I will be thinking of Rachel from Mummas Muddles having to live through her first Mothers Day without her beautiful Hamish

This Mothers Day I will be thinking of how thankful I am to have my own amazing mum so present in everything I do

This Mothers Day I am thinking about how much my mum must be missing her mum……as I desperately do everyday

This Mothers Day I am thinking of how very blessed I am to be the mother to the 5 most amazing boys in all the world.

Who will you be thinking of this Mothers Day? 

Share
Filed Under: Modern Parenting Tagged With: , , , , ,

Today my little girl would have been five: Heartfelt memories

October 17, 2012 By 43 Comments

Today my little girl would have turned 5. She would be getting ready to start school next year. She would have had nearly 2 wondrous years of kinder, playing games, making friends, bringing home enormous amounts of art and craft that I would admire, put on display for a little while and then secretly duck out to the recycling when she wasn’t looking. I don’t think of the milestones that were never reached very often. Maybe because I am so busy with the milestones of her brothers. Maybe because I am too busy with life, work and family commitments.  Or maybe because it is just too painful.

 

But that doesn’t mean that I don’t think about her. I don’t think there is a single thing I do in life now that I cant relate back to what she has given me. In my work I want people to enjoy their families. I want them to know how precious these moments are and I want them to do all they can to take away the stress and bring back more of the joy.  For my own family I want to experience this joy with them. I don’t want to wish away years waiting for that next stage. I don’t want to stress over the little things and forget the bigger picture. I don’t want to spend each day disciplining and yelling and nagging. I do those things when I have to. But I don’t want to be consumed by them.

 

People often ask me how I can volunteer for Heartfelt and be reminded daily of the loss that families experience. I have 4 months worth of photos of my little girl and I treasure every one. Every day when I take a call from a family who would like some photos, I feel a little of their pain. I do. But I want them to know that they will smile again. I want them to know that there will be days that are so dark that they are not sure they will ever see light again. But I want them to know that they will. They will laugh again. They will find joy in little things. They will have dark days again. And moments. And hours. And even months. But they will keep getting up and putting one foot in front of the other. They will even come to a time when they can smile at their photos. Not always. But sometimes. I want them to know that sometimes its good enough just to breathe.  And other times they will feel so happy that for a moment they will feel guilty. It is then they will remember, that they are determined to be happy for that little life that couldn’t be. That they owe it to that life cut short to live each day the best way they know how. I know my photos, keeping her memory alive, help me to do just that.

 

 

If you haven’t heard of Heartfelt and the amazing organisation that it is, then please visit the website and share.

Related Posts: Grief to Me

Remembering Ava

Dont be sad for me

 

 

Share
Filed Under: Grief Tagged With: , , ,

Happy Days in May: a sentence a day in the month of May

May 1, 2012 By 14 Comments

Last year I took up the challenge from Naomi from Seven Cherubs to write a sentence a day that records something that makes you happy and grateful for all you have. This year Naomi is putting out the challenge again and has called it Happy Days in May.

There are days when we don’t have to look far for a happy moment or find something that made us laugh or smile. The sun was shining, the kids didn’t fight, you partied with friends or  your team won the game. But other days the moments are a little less obvious. It is these days that make this challenge so rewarding. It forces us to look a little harder for the moments that we need to be grateful for. It may be a coffee you drank before it got cold, an arrival in the post that wasn’t a bill, or it may simply be that you didn’t burn the dinner .  No matter how big or seemingly small, we need to recognise all the moments that go into our lives to bring us joy.

This year I am again putting my kids to the challenge as well. I am going to ask them to give me a sentence each night of something that happened to them during the day that made them smile, laugh, feel good about themselves or someone else. Or maybe they could just recall something that they are grateful for or an item they are happy to own.  I may ask for a little more creativity from the boys this year,  as whilst I understand that playing footy and riding on their scooters are great fun activities, we may need to stretch their imaginations just a little. It is a great way for kids, and ourselves to go to bed with positive thoughts, a silver lining or a glimmer of hope. Rather than trying to keep a journal or diary which I have never been able to succeed at for any extended period, I have also found that this is a great way to record lifes little moments whilst taking only a minute or two each night.

I would love for others to have a go and try it with your kids as well. For an example of last years challenge you can check out my Happiness Project from 2011.

Remember , its just one sentence, every night.

So best wishes to all for many Happy Days in May.

 

Share
Filed Under: More Joy Less Stress Tagged With: , ,

Grief to Me

February 14, 2012 By 28 Comments

There are many similiarities in the way people deal with grief, but overwhelmingly, grief is a very individual experience. Lately I have heard many people asking for advice on how to process their grief or indeed how to go on living with the seemingly unbearable pain of loss. Many are often wanting reassurance that what they are feeling is normal. They want to know if and how it changes. They sometimes want to know strategies on how to move forward. They want to know if there is a timeframe. They want to know how it is they will ever feel joy again. These answers will always vary.

Here is how my grief has looked and will continue to look. It may be similiar to others. It may be completely different. What it does highlight is that it is disorganised, untimely, sometimes static and sometimes everchanging….but it can only ever be yours.

Grief to me

It is screaming so hard that you thought you might die or wish that you could.

It is that stabbing pain at the sudden intrusion to your daily walk

It is avoiding certain people

It is going to certain people

It is avoiding certain places

It is going to certain places

It is smiling at a past memory

It is gasping for air at a past memory

It is throwing things in anger

It is crying tears of joy for the happiness you see in your childrens eyes

It is heartache in the pit of your stomach camoflaged by a smile

It is snide remarks about others that you say only to yourself

It is picking up those around you

It is being picked up

It is rejoicing in a new life

It is fear

It is a gazillion cups of tea

It is hating some songs

It is loving more deeply

It is surprising yourself with laughter

It is holding a little bit tighter

It is forgiving more quickly

It is holding a grudge

It is walking at night not caring if you are safe

It is dreading a certain day, a time and a season

It is feeling joy like you never thought you would

It is hoping

It is all consuming

It is unending

It is a sole source of inspiration

It is mine

Share
Filed Under: Grief Tagged With: , , , ,

Young Talent Time, Nostalgia and Childhood Memories

January 31, 2012 By 22 Comments

“Nostalgia”

“Wonderful memories”

“takes me back to my childhood”

I have heard these statements bandied around a fair bit this past week and was even known to ‘tweet’ a few myself. “Why, you ask?” Well the return of that all singing all dancing one hour of good clean fun that was known to all that were born pre 1990 as “Young Talent Time”

To all who shared the joy (and I know that there are many of you), the return of the modern version of Young Talent Time has brought back memories of the songs, the costumes, the dance routines and of course the talented team members we loved and loathed. Only I didn’t actually loathe any,  I was just insanely jealous of their ‘best life in the world’!  What mother of an 80’s kid didn’t hear at least once the words “mum…. please can I join the Young Talent Team”? [Read more...]

Share
Filed Under: Modern Parenting Tagged With: , ,
« Older Posts