This Mothers Day I will be thinking of….

This Mothers Day I will be thinking of my beautiful daughter who I only got to hold for 4 and a half months

This Mothers Day I will be thinking of my two Nannas no longer with me.

This Mothers Day I will be thinking of my family and friends who desperately wanted to be a mother but couldn’t

 This Mothers Day I will be thinking of every mother I have organised a Heartfelt session for this past year who  do not have their babies to hold

This Mothers Day I will be thinking of all those who are having their first Mothers Day without their mum

This Mothers Day I will be thinking of Rachel from Mummas Muddles having to live through her first Mothers Day without her beautiful Hamish

This Mothers Day I will be thinking of how thankful I am to have my own amazing mum so present in everything I do

This Mothers Day I am thinking about how much my mum must be missing her mum……as I desperately do everyday

This Mothers Day I am thinking of how very blessed I am to be the mother to the 5 most amazing boys in all the world.

Who will you be thinking of this Mothers Day? 

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A Poem of loss….for us and too many others

Something a little different this week.

5 years ago today my brave little girl lost her fight for life. I have been loved and supported by so many in that time. On the day of her funeral my beautiful and talented friend Lucy wrote and read a poem for us. I thought it should be shared.  In my work as representative for Heartfelt, I hear almost every day of others enduring loss. So here it is, a poem for us and for too many others….

 

Our hearts will seem useless to a mother and father

whose child has gone like the days last sun-

but we will offer them anyway.

Our hearts with a room to hold their grief

to hold it up to the light

and see it drifting down to cover these people who dared to love

All words will appear clumsy and common

but we should open our mouths and say them.

Words with the warmth to build a fire

in a dark room of a future night

This is a poem for loss

to tell you we saw you love your daughter boldly and purely before she left

to tell you we know you will love her still

Her smile mirrored in the smile of the boys you will keep.

This is what we can offer-

the ink drying on the page

our restless sleep in which we dream to save her

our waking hours if you should need us

and the cruel confusion of all sorrow

and not knowing where to go now

into the changed day.

 

by Lucy Williams

 

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Changing Times: Things I did my kids won’t do

There is no doubt that changes to our world have led to changes in the way our children spend their time.  Some of these changes are positive and the advancements in technology have ensured some wonderful ways to keep our families connected, educated and inspired. But the changing world has also meant that many of the pastimes and experiences that bought us so much joy as a child have been superseded by these other activities.  When talking to my kids about some of the things we used to do and hearing echo’s of my parents “in my day” and “when I was young…..” it becomes evident that each generation will always have a story to tell. I cant imagine what my own children’s children will be doing in their playtime! One of the biggest challenges today is making our kids appreciate downtime when so much of their time is about being switched on, doing activities, being connected online and being constantly entertained.

Here are a few things that I experienced as a child that for whatever reasons, my kids haven’t experienced, and may or may not ever.

Taped songs from the radio – now obviously the advances in technology have rendered this essential pastime of any eighties child obsolete. Sitting poised with two fingers on the play and record button of the tape deck waiting to hear if you liked a song, pressing record because you thought you did only to realize it was the wrong song and having to rewind back to the exact spot ready to try again. And those darn DJ’s that kept talking over the top of a song!

Bonfire and fireworks - This was a favourite in my street with all the kids heading out to the back paddock where some of the bigger kids had spent a few days building a giant bonfire. We would then all gather at night whilst all manner of fireworks would be lit, set off in an array of colours, bangs and whirls.  I think this is pretty much illegal nowadays and quite frankly I am amazed we escaped with all eyes and limbs intact!

Ride a wild horse bare back – No this is not quite as graceful and romantic as it sounds. Don’t think young child galloping along the shores of the ocean, white linen and blond locks flowing in the breeze. Instead I was the guinea pig for my brother and his mate to “have a go at riding that horse”. Gullible little sister, easy to sway  and keen to impress, decided that would be a good idea, despite having never ridden a horse ever, aside from a slow person-led pony ride. Needless to say it bucked me off and my nose has never been the same since! I still live quite close to those paddocks that provided us with endless space and freedom, but alas, there are no roaming wild horses anymore. Just a big whopping freeway and many more houses.

Playing the Tasting game – there is no reason why this game has not been part of my kids repertoire of games (aside from the fact I am yet to tell them about it). My friends and I used to often be found in the pantry with a blindfold on whilst the other person would spoon ghastly sauces, curries and the like in order for one to guess the secret taste. I am having some flashbacks now of some hideous concoctions!

There was all manner of other games my friends and I used to play. My best friend down the road and I would play dress ups, schools, tea parties , Barbie dolls….none of which I have seen my kids play. This may however be more of a gender issue than a sign of the times!

And lets not forget watching a VCR, getting off the couch to change the channel, going to the toilet during the commercial breaks and never ever seeing the end of The sound of Music or The Wizard of Oz because you simply couldn’t stay awake!

Whatever our kids are doing now we need to make sure they still have lots of time to get bored, create fun and enjoy all the freedom that childhood affords.

What games and pastimes did you do as a child that your kids are unlikely to ever do? 

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Fathers Day Questions & a giveaway

Last year on Fathers Day I asked my 3 older boys some interview questions about their dad. It was interesting to see the things they noticed, the things they loved,  the things he could improve on and the things he liked to do. I thought I would see if much had changed over the past year and interviewed the boys again with the same questions. This year I was able to add the 3 year old as his articulation is one thing that has certainly developed over the past 12 months.

 

What makes your dad a great dad?

12 yr old: I just love him.  Once a year he takes me to the wrestling. He takes me to footy matches. I’m sure there is more but my brain has worked too hard today   2011:  He buys us stuff from Seven Eleven and he hangs out with us a lot

10 year old: he buys stuff for me and plays with me and spends a lot of time with me  (2011:He gives us Slurpees and is renovating our house and takes holidays with us and spends lots of time playing with us)

9 year old: he takes me to places. He’s nice. He’s funny. He looks after us  (2011: He’s good at looking after us)

3 year old: cause he is

 

What do you love to do with your dad?

 12 year old: Going to the chicken shop for chicken and chips  (2011:  Play footy and cricket with him and having talks)

10 year old: kick the footy, play cricket, go swimming, watches footy with me. He does heaps more I just can’t remember  (2011: Play footy with us, take us to the local footy and swim in the pool with us)

9 year old: kick a footy, take us to the footy, I love watching Amazing Race with him, him watching me play footy (8 yr old: Go to the local footy, play footy, golf and ten pin bowling)

3 year old: play cricket, running, footy, cars and hockey

 

What could your dad improve on?

 12 year old: get less angry with us. That’s about it really (2011: Ummm…lets see…I don’t really want to answer that…umm…nope there’s actually nothing)

10 year old: growling at me without knowing who’s fault it was (2011: Nothing…really)

9 year old: I don’t know (2011:  I don’t know)

3 year old: I don’t know

 

Do you know your dads favourite TV show?

12 yr old: footy (2011: the footy)

10 year old: his movie he is making with his friends  (2011: Entourage)

9 year old: Amazing Race  (2011: Amazing Race and Survivor)

3 year old: Toy Story

 

What is dads favourite food? 

 12 year old: KFC  (2011: Chicken Parmigana)

10 year old: tacos  (2011: Tacos)

9 year old: Salt and vinegar chips  (2011: Beer, lollies, hot jam donuts)

3 year old: Nutri grain

 

What’s something funny your dad does?

 12 year old:  when dad wrestles us, especially Louie  (2011: When the two of us blame mum for our farts)

10 year old: when Tigers play bad he sometimes goes off his head a bit which is pretty funny  (2011: When he tries to sing)

9 year old: Tells us funny stories, scares me  (2011: When he creeps up and scares me)

3 year old: he laughs when I play running

 

So not a lot has changed it seems. He still likes footy and is great at playing sports with them. He likes Tacos and the Amazing Race. Apparently he likes Nutri Grain although I myself have never seen him eat a bowl of it. He possibly is not buying as many Slurpees and a couple of children may have got in trouble a little more this past year! But on the whole they know they have the best dad ever.

What makes your kids dad great? Or what is special about your own dad?

Leave a comment, like my Facebook page and you could win a copy of the DVD “Beaconsfield” to give to your dad as a little late Fathers Day present! If you haven’t seen the movie, it is a great portrayal of the events with some amazing performances by a fabulous cast. Here is a link to the trailer.  Beaconsfield Movie Trailer

Competition closes 5pm aest September 5th

 

 

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Some words to live by from Anne Shirley: Honesty, imagination and a kindred spirit

The other day I was researching  searching being distracted by the internet when I came across a gorgeous quote from the ever so wise  Anne of Green Gables.

“Today is always fresh with no mistakes in it yet”

I love these words and on more than one occasion have used this outlook when stress, grief or everyday challenges threaten to overwhelm. Whether it be mistakes of our own doing, the mistake of others or situations beyond our control, it certainly helps to think of tomorrow as a clean slate.

I fondly remember reading these books and later watching the series on television. Anne’s imagination, her reference to ones “kindred spirit”, her gregarious nature and forthright honesty makes her one of my most favourite fictional characters. I decided to share some more pearls of wisdom with you here. Her passionate love of language and the written word, her creative outlook her loyalty and her wit and wisdom ensures we could all learn something from the very spirited Anne of Green Gables. [Read more...]

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