Remembering

Remembering ANZAC’s and talking to our kids about war

April 24, 2012 By Martine 10 Comments

This week in Australia and in many places around the world, we stop to commemorate ANZAC day and the history of sacrifice for which it stands.

I am a bit of a history buff and a patriotic Australian so I enjoy being able to not only reflect, but to learn a little more each year about our countries military service. And yes I will tear up at the singing of the National Anthem on Grand final day and not just because I am anticipating witnessing another flag!

Anzac Day is a day that fills me with pride and a pride I will endeavor to instill in my kids. I want them to know how lucky they are to live in a country that offers us opportunity, freedom and choice. I also want them to know about the sacrifices that were made by those of years gone by and those sacrifices being made by our men and women soldiers and their families today.

But what about our children? How much do they need to know about war, particularly those wars that are happening right now? How do we make sure that the information they receive is relevant, accurate and appropriate for their age and intellectual and emotional development?

These days we have constant access to media and an overload of information. For parents, this can mean a difficulty in protecting our kids from imagery that may be shocking and disturbing.

For particularly young kids, say those around 7 and under, we need to be more discreet in terms of the imagery and content to which they are exposed. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Communicating and Connecting, Modern Parenting Tagged With: Anzac day, Remembering, war

Grief to Me

February 14, 2012 By Martine 28 Comments

There are many similiarities in the way people deal with grief, but overwhelmingly, grief is a very individual experience. Lately I have heard many people asking for advice on how to process their grief or indeed how to go on living with the seemingly unbearable pain of loss. Many are often wanting reassurance that what they are feeling is normal. They want to know if and how it changes. They sometimes want to know strategies on how to move forward. They want to know if there is a timeframe. They want to know how it is they will ever feel joy again. These answers will always vary.

Here is how my grief has looked and will continue to look. It may be similiar to others. It may be completely different. What it does highlight is that it is disorganised, untimely, sometimes static and sometimes everchanging….but it can only ever be yours.

Grief to me

It is screaming so hard that you thought you might die or wish that you could.

It is that stabbing pain at the sudden intrusion to your daily walk

It is avoiding certain people

It is going to certain people

It is avoiding certain places

It is going to certain places

It is smiling at a past memory

It is gasping for air at a past memory

It is throwing things in anger

It is crying tears of joy for the happiness you see in your childrens eyes

It is heartache in the pit of your stomach camoflaged by a smile

It is snide remarks about others that you say only to yourself

It is picking up those around you

It is being picked up

It is rejoicing in a new life

It is fear

It is a gazillion cups of tea

It is hating some songs

It is loving more deeply

It is surprising yourself with laughter

It is holding a little bit tighter

It is forgiving more quickly

It is holding a grudge

It is walking at night not caring if you are safe

It is dreading a certain day, a time and a season

It is feeling joy like you never thought you would

It is hoping

It is all consuming

It is unending

It is a sole source of inspiration

It is mine

Filed Under: Grief Tagged With: coping, Grief, loss, memories, Remembering

Keeping on top of your photos & Preserving your precious memories

November 22, 2011 By Martine 9 Comments

How good are you at saving, storing, printing and displaying your photos? Are these precious memories laying precariously on a memory disk waiting to be attacked by some weird digital virus? Are they laying dormant in your computer waiting to crash and burn?

This weeks post has been inspired by my week of collating photos for my husbands 40^th birthday celebrations. I have had lots of laughs, a few tears and an overall flooding back of all manner of memories as I waded through the images. This last week has again reminded me just how fast time is going, and just how quickly those around me (myself included) are changing, growing and greying. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Modern Parenting Tagged With: family, memories, photos, Remembering

Where did that time go?

November 2, 2011 By Martine 2 Comments

Remember when you were little and time seemed to take forever? When Christmas Day was over I remember bemoaning the fact that it would be an eternity until carols and candles and Santa paid us another visit. it seemed like I was at primary school for just the longest time and my next years birthday was just way too long to wait.

But now it seems like a split second since i was writing up my Christmas list and decorating the Christmas tree…and it was nigh on 12 months ago. One whole year. A year that used to take forever, but now appears to whittle away in a matter of crazy, busy, jam-packed weeks.

It wasn’t as if we weren’t busy as kids. We had plenty going on. But I remember rolling my eyes at the ‘old people’ (they would be my mums friends who were probably just 30 at the time) who would make comments such as “enjoy being at school…it goes so quickly”, or “I remember when you were a baby..it seems like only yesterday”. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Modern Parenting Tagged With: change, family, growing, Remembering, time

Grief, birthdays and remembering

October 17, 2011 By Martine 13 Comments

I struggled with a title for this post and also about the content as well. It could have been about friendships and how they have helped me in my grief. It was also going to be about remembering people on their birthdays and imagining all that they would be doing had they lived. It could also have been about the ‘sliding doors’ theory of how one moment in time can alter the course of so many lives from there on in. It could also have been about contemplating how old siblings need to be before they can understand that they should have had a ‘big’ sister. Will they then think they may not have been born? Would they have in fact been born?

But today I don’t really feel like writing. So instead I will share a photo of these gorgeous pink roses from a friends garden. She chased me down the road and handed them to me after I’d dropped the other kids at school, and simply said “You know I’m always thinking of you”. Those 4 pink roses represent the four years today since my little girl was born. I am so grateful to have so many beautiful family and friends who will never let my baby girl be forgotten.