worry

Parenting with illness: the importance of help and support

February 28, 2012 By Martine 18 Comments

Being sick really isn’t any fun at all. And being sick when you have other little (or big) people you are responsible for is even worse. Well that was my week last week. It was only really a good 24 hours that I was physically sick with a violent and ugly case of gastro….but it was enough to pretty much write off the whole week. (It didn’t help that 5 out of our 7 family members got it too…so on the plus side, every item of linen and bedding is fresh and clean and the floors have been washed numerous times!)

When lying in my bed, so thankful for my mother who slotted right into proceedings, and a cousin who had made all the kids lunches, it was kind of bizarre sitting back and listening to the goings on of your family, but having no input at all. It was a bit like wanting to help, give advice, join in and be a part of it, but really not caring enough to be the slightest bit interested. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Modern Parenting, More Joy Less Stress Tagged With: coping, illness, Parenting, support, worry

The Stepladder Approach to helping with anxiety

June 17, 2011 By Martine 4 Comments

When anxiety is beyond ‘being a little bit shy and awkward’ and develops instead into something unreasonably fearful, there are steps we as a parent can take in order to help our children conquer some of these moments and allow them to more fully immerse themselves in all the world has to offer. The stepladder approach or ‘gradual exposure’ is a technique to help people of all ages slowly learn to conquer their fears and tackle situations they would previously have perceived as overwhelming.

It is based on the principals of exposing ourselves to the fearful situations, but by doing so in a way that allows us to achieve small successes in order to move ourselves up the ladder to full exposure. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Modern Parenting Tagged With: advice, anxiety, coping, emotions, fear, Parenting, strategies, worry

Strategies to help children cope with anxiety

June 10, 2011 By Martine 11 Comments

Whilst anxiety can be a normal response to the fears and worries that present themseles to our children, there is also evidence of increasing instances of debilitating anxiety which is preventing our children from enjoying all that life has to offer. In my previous post we discussed what was normal when it came to our children’s anxiety and looked at the instances whereby anxiety was becoming an issue and hence something we may need to address in order to help our children with their coping skills.

Some of the strategies we as parents can use to help and prevent further anxiety are:

Try not to make too big a deal of situations that may cause your child distress as this can add to their anxiety.

I have counselled many adolescents whose anxiety is often fed by well meaning parents who are trying to protect their child from further distress. Children however are very good at feeding off the emotions of their parents [Read more...]

Filed Under: Modern Parenting Tagged With: advice, anxiety, coping, emotions, independence, Parenting, support, worry

Childhood Anxiety- What’s Normal?

June 2, 2011 By Martine 4 Comments

Anxiety can be a normal part of human functioning and something that we all experience to some degree. As a parent with an overly anxious child however, this can be extremely heartbreaking to watch, not to mention frustrating and downright annoying, particularly when it interferes with everyday routines or planned activities.

The child that wont let go of your leg for the entire party can be challenging at best. Aside from the annoyance of lugging around the extra appendage hanging from your body, it can be upsetting to get to a party that the child was so looking forward to, only to have them miss out on all the fun. Dropping a child off at childcare and hearing that they cried alone in a corner for the majority of the day can be devastating to hear, not to mention the guilt that it lumps on an already stressed working parent. But how do we know if it is a case of simply having a shy kid who takes a bit of warming up, or if we have a child who is already showing clear signs of anxiety that may continue to impede them throughout their childhood and beyond?

What is anxiety?

In a nutshell, anxiety is the bodies response to real or perceived danger. It is the ‘flight or fight’ mechanism that is naturally present in us all. When danger, excitement or fear are detected, our body makes physiological changes to prepare for this onslaught and thus we are better able to combat the attack. When we are overly anxious however, this fight or flight mechanism and the physiological changes are not in proportion to the actual danger that is presented, and thus prevent us from negotiating a more realistic response. [Read more...]