Recently somebody asked me if I knew the sex of my unborn child. “Yes we do” I replied proudly, “we are having another little boy”. Ready for the “oh how lovely” or the “wow that’s great but wont you be busy”, I was somewhat taken aback by the look of pity and dismay that accompanied the “but you already have 4 boys, Oh my God you poor thing”….“Will you try again for a girl?” As I mumbled a rather pathetic, “Oh no we are really excited and love our other boys so why wouldn’t we love this one”, I decided then to give in and smile politely and respond resolutely that, ‘no this was to be our last’. Is it because I have so many boys that it is deemed I should need a daughter, or worse still that I should not even want another son? Should I be already thinking about moving this one along so as I can get to work on making way for another “shot” at a little girl? Would they have said that if they knew that we did in fact have a daughter who tragically passed away at 5 months of age? I guess not, as most who know me and know of our situation are more than elated when we inform them of the prospect of a new baby boy. They know the pain we endured and still do at the loss of a child. They know that whilst the child we have had and the subsequent child we will have following the death of our daughter have filled an enormous hole for us and provided myself and my family with untold joy. And they know these precious babies will never go near to replacing her, regardless of their gender. I am not so naïve to say that there are not people out there who are desperate for a certain gender and who are genuinely disappointed when they find out the sex of their unborn baby. I know that those who have had a boy or 2 may think a girl would be a nice change, and equally that those with a daughter or more may need some testosterone to even up the hormones. But not all of us feel this way. I have had my daughter, and I loved her with all my heart. I thankfully have 4 beautiful boys whom I also love with all my heart. And I have another little precious baby boy practising his drop punt kicks inside me as I write, who I too will love with all my heart. So please by all means be sad for me that I lost my daughter. Be sad that my boys lost their little sister who they doted on so proudly. Be sad that everyday parents are tragically losing their beloved children. But please don’t be sad for me as I hopefully welcome the safe arrival of another beautiful boy into our world.