Grief, birthdays and remembering

I struggled with a title for this post and also about the content as well. It could have been about friendships and how they have helped me in my grief. It was also going to be about remembering people on their birthdays and imagining all that they would be doing had they lived. It could also have been about the ‘sliding doors’ theory of how one moment in time can alter the course of so many lives from there on in. It could also have been about contemplating how old siblings need to be before they can understand that they should have had a ‘big’ sister. Will they then think they may not have been born? Would they have in fact been born?

But today I don’t really feel like writing. So instead I will share a photo of these gorgeous pink roses from a friends garden. She chased me down the road and handed them to me after I’d dropped the other kids at school, and simply said “You know I’m always thinking of you”. Those 4 pink roses represent the four years today since my little girl was born. I am so grateful to have so many beautiful family and friends who will never let my baby girl be forgotten.

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13 Responses to Grief, birthdays and remembering

  1. Louisa October 17, 2011 at 3:36 pm #

    What a beautiful and thoughtful thing to do – I wish you were celebrating a 4th birthday with your little girl today and I wish I had something more helpful to say than I’m so sorry you’re not. x

  2. Claireyhewitt October 17, 2011 at 3:43 pm #

    What a lovely thing to do, simple, beautiful and meaningful.
    Claireyhewitt recently posted…I have to go shopping now.My Profile

  3. Miss Meg October 17, 2011 at 4:04 pm #

    Lovely Martine, your piece today has reached out and touched even more people who will now also send thoughts to the heavens to your baby girl. I will give my boys an extra cuddle at bedtime in her honour, thinking of you, Meg xx

  4. Nadine Foulcher October 17, 2011 at 7:14 pm #

    I cant believe 4 years have passed, Beautiful Ava, My thoughts and prayers are with you today, hugs to all, this post was perfect for me also….xx

  5. Darren Rowse October 17, 2011 at 8:34 pm #

    Beautiful post Martine – thoughts with you and your family today.

  6. Dorothy @ Singular Insanity October 17, 2011 at 9:11 pm #

    That was such a beautiful thing to do… And this is such a lovely, simple post… I’m sorry for your loss…
    Dorothy @ Singular Insanity recently posted…Travelling with kids made easy….My Profile

  7. Jacqui October 18, 2011 at 12:59 am #

    Love you Teenie and miss our little Ava and hold her in my heart always… Not goodbye – just goodnight for a little while… xxxx

  8. Kiandra Stewart October 18, 2011 at 1:34 am #

    Martine, I just want to give you a huge cuddle. You’re an angel just like the ones looking after Ava. Love and cuddles, Kia xxxx

  9. Broken Hearted Mummy October 18, 2011 at 8:24 am #

    Sending my thoughts and hugs to you for yesterday xx

  10. kirri October 20, 2011 at 3:34 pm #

    Take extra special care of yourself Martine and thank you for letting us share in the remembering of your daughter, Ava.
    kirri recently posted…See ya self-flagellation, Hello self-love!My Profile

  11. Helena October 20, 2011 at 10:51 pm #

    I know that feeling – my daughter would have been 10 this year. I wonder every day what it would have been like to still have her here. Yesterday was the 9th anniversary of her death and I felt great love from every person that had me in their thoughts yesterday.
    From one bereaved Mum to another – my thoughts are with you xxx
    Helena recently posted…Who Are the Experts in Parenting/Mothering?My Profile

    • Martine October 23, 2011 at 11:13 pm #

      Thanks Helena, My thoughts are with you too xx

      • Demarcia June 8, 2012 at 12:22 pm #

        Fear. And it was also the most crippling and dttvruceise aspect of my grief. I went from being fearless to fearing EVERYTHING. It took me a long time to figure out how to live in God’s promises, again. But I think I’m there. It’s been three and a half years.

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