Today my little girl would have been 7……
I would give anything for her to be celebrating with us today. I would give anything to have not loved so desperately and lost so tragically. I would give anything for that not to have happened. But it happened. And from that event, the next chapter of my life had to happen too.
My daughters life and death at 4 and half months, obviously had a profound effect on everything I now do. There are paths I have taken that I know I wouldn’t have, had I not met her.
I would never have gone on to study my Masters in Counselling, confident with the knowledge I could truly help people. I would never have started this blog and business. I wouldn’t be so passionate about parents enjoying their lives with their families free of stress, anger and misunderstanding. I wouldn’t be so passionate about working with parents to help them look at life through the eyes of their children. To help them understand why they do what they do and how we can help them. I wouldn’t get so upset when I see parents rushed and stressed and unable to take in the joy of their families. I probably wouldn’t be so intent on recognising how precious the time is that I have with my other beautiful boys.
I would never have become a photographer and now the State Representative for Heartfelt. I would never have known the desperate need of families to have something tangible to hold on to. I would never have known that fear of what it would mean to forget a face, the creases of skin at the back of a neck or strawberry blond eyelashes. I would never have imagined what it would be like to leave a hospital with empty arms.
But I do know.
And it is that knowledge that keeps me from trying to make sure no family ever has to have that fear of forgetting. To some they are just images, a digital file and a 6 x 4 inch print. But to those of us that know, and to those of us who meet these families, talk to them, see their pain and become part of their heartache, we know that they can be something so much more. And something, at a time when you think your have nothing, can be everything.
So thank you my beautiful little girl, for everything you have given to me and for everything that you continue to give to others.